Friday’s 10 Happy Things Vol. 11

1. Chunky peanut butter sandwiches that satisfy my hunger whenever I’m rewatching Masterchef, Top Chef, or torturing myself by lingering at Buzzfeed’s Tasty Facebook page.

2. Marathoning Inside Amy Schumer last month. It’s surprisingly really funny. I kind of just don’t like Amy’s face, that’s why it took this long for me to watch it but it’s hilarious and definitely recommendable. My favorite sketches so far have been the Abusive Couple, and Girl Compliments. Her stand-up stuff’s really good too!

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No Returns

 

Hey, do you still have my red shirt? Can I have it back?

I stared at my phone, openmouthed. Excuse me? You want what back now?

I walked around the house, trying to think of what to reply. I opened the pantry and saw a can of vienna sausage, tuna, and sardines.

Nope. I opened the refrigerator and got a jar of peanut butter.

Can I have it back? I mimicked the text in a high-pitched voice while lathering the peanut butter on to the bread, with some of the oil dripping on to the table.

I took the sandwiches and set up camp in front of the AC. I took a huge bite off one sandwich and open the message once again.

Hey, do you still have my red shirt? Can I have it back?

After finishing a third sandwich and downing a glass of orange juice, I picked up my phone and typed:

What red shirt?

~*~

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