No Returns


Hey, do you still have my red shirt? Can I have it back?

I stared at my phone, openmouthed. Excuse me? You want what back now?

I walked around the house, trying to think of what to reply. I opened the pantry and saw a can of vienna sausage, tuna, and sardines.

Nope. I opened the refrigerator and got a jar of peanut butter.

Can I have it back? I mimicked the text in a high-pitched voice while lathering the peanut butter on to the bread, with some of the oil dripping on to the table.

I took the sandwiches and set up camp in front of the AC. I took a huge bite off one sandwich and open the message once again.

Hey, do you still have my red shirt? Can I have it back?

After finishing a third sandwich and downing a glass of orange juice, I picked up my phone and typed:

What red shirt?


I hate you! I don’t have anything to wear anymore!

He let out a small laugh and kissed her forehead. I’m sorry.

She picked the now ruined flimsy top off the floor and examined the damage and let out a long sigh. I really liked this though. I got this off a thrift shop so I can’t just buy a new one! She shot a dagger look at him but let a small smile creep on her face when he raised his eyebrows.

You find this funny, don’t you?

Hey, I said I’m sorry. You can just pick something out from my closet.

How about this?

She was holding up a red shirt with black and white stripes around the edges. She knew this was where this conversation would end up–she just wanted him to offer first so as not to be too obvious.

You’ve been eyeing that since the we talked, didn’t you?

She let out a wide smile and kissed him. You know me so well.

She put the shirt over her head and snuggled up to his arms. He gave her an already lit cigarette and took a puff out of his own.

You know, this was what you were wearing when we were first introduced to each other.

That’s fucking corny.

I looked up at him and gave him a small peck on the lips. I know.


After a few seconds, my phone let out a loud ping. I held my breath and unlocked the screen.


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