The Long Lost

I miss you as a friend.

It sucks that I have to add those three words for it to be proper. God forbid you could actually just miss a person and everything that they bring with them: the memories, the hurt, the friendship.  It sucks that we have to separate the time when we were just friends from the time I confessed to you that I liked you but then didn’t like me back. Can’t I just miss both?

Weirdly enough, it’s not just that I miss. I miss what could have been: our celebration of your first grown-up job (with our other friends, of course), our date in Chinatown where we had the best dimsum ever, and our lazy day spent in front of the TV where you fell asleep on my lap with me stroking your hair absentmindedly. It’s crazy. I mean, how can you miss something that never happened?

The missing-you feeling never comes in big waves. Just small nudges or prods from old memories. There are no fat tears that leak from my eyes but a small but piercing pang in my heart.

I know it sounds incredibly cheesy but losing you made me stronger. I’ve experienced terrible heartaches before you but the pain from you leaving left a huge hole in my life. Sometimes, I still couldn’t believe that you had the willingness (strength? audacity? balls?) to just erase people from your life.

You will always be the one that got away in all sense of the word. You got away as a lover, as a friend, and just as someone whom I could talk to from time to time. The possibility of us talking is incredibly slim with your job away from the city and your hermit tendencies. You might as well have disappeared from this planet.

It’s been two years since I’ve last seen you.

Until now.

I was going down from the steps of the pedestrian overpass when I caught sight of you. You were wearing that same old purple long-sleeved polo you wore in college. Your hair was short, kind of like that stupid nerd boy hair you had.

In what seemed like a typical and cliche movie slow motion scene, your eyes sweep the busy road: from the lack of jeepneys, to the street vendor at the foot of the stairs, and then to the look of surprise on my face.

Your lips curved in to a small smile.


Writing 101: Day Four – Today, write about a loss. The twist: make this the first post in a three-post series.


10 thoughts on “The Long Lost

  1. I REALLY like this first entry in the trilogy. The emotion that you elicit in actually describing the loss, specifically, the things that are missed about the interaction, are the strength of this entry.

    The flow is good, your use of description is good and your grammar seems pretty good to me (I don’t recall noticing any errors in punctuation or spelling given the first read).

    “The missing-you feeling never comes in big waves. Just small nudges or prods from old memories. There are no fat tears that leak from my eyes but a small but piercing pang in my heart.”

    That quote stands out to me most. When you miss someone, it’s not always about constant melancholy. It’s not about the initial feeling of emptiness that comes from their absence; it’s when a song you hear in passing plays that reminds you of them. A quote uttered. Something as simple as a scent or a food item or even a book title or author.

    I’m looking forward to reading part two. Good job!

    • Thank you! I just had to take time and google if my use of the colon is correct. 😛 Hope I’d be able to insert the second and last parts of this story seamlessly with the other blogging challenges. 🙂

      And I DEFINITELY agree on remembering a shitload of memories just by a scent. Sometimes, I suddenly freeze when I smell their perfume or, heck, even their personal scent all of a sudden. Sometimes, I think it’s all in my head. Haha. 🙂

      • Well, the thing to remember is that it IS in our heads. 😉 Whenever I smell Exclamation (assuming that it’s still around), I remember one of the first people I actually went on a date with in college.

        Fresh-cut grass is one of my all-time favorite scents.

        But, I digress…

        Maybe, you want to work on the other two parts of your loss story and save them so that they can be tweaked when we need them later. That’s what I’m SERIOUSLY considering doing, as I have a bit of a direction that I want to take going forward.

        I’ll attempt to keep tabs to see those other two installments. 😉

  2. I like your Found piece. I like the subtle way you inch forward to discovering that you have found in the eyes of your lover/friend what you lost. Good dialogue and your silent thoughts in between the spaces.

    • Thank you so much! I enjoyed your entry as well. 😀 I’m enjoying reading people’s entries as much (or even more than) writing my own. 🙂

  3. I found your story interesting and relatable, but nothing too terribly extraordinary — an all-too-common experience for many of us.

    Until now.

    All of the sudden, you hooked me in. I went from lazily scanning the words to absorbing each and every one like they were the last drops of water in the desert. My thoughts went from, oh, yeah, so it didn’t work out and she wished it did, to ohwaitTHENwhat??? with just those two words. Very well done. On to part 2!

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