Before anything else, let me say that I’m one of the very few people who loved high school. I’m not going to pretend I had a miserable time. It was probably the best four years of my teenage life. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t have huge amounts of hate for almost everyone except for a few people part of my circle of friends.
Um…hi… *indistinct murmurs* (The Outcasts)
Every high school has one, if you don’t know who it is in yours, then it’s probably you. In our batch, they’re the ones who don’t talk to anyone (in ANY form, text, written, braille) except during required recitations or if you talk to them directly. If they do speak, however, they do so very quietly. Like it would cause them physical pain to speak a little louder.
I don’t need to raise my hand during recitation because if nobody raises their hand it’ll be me saving all your asses you dumbfucks (The Geniuses)
The Geniuses are very normal people and not as weird as the outcasts. They come in different types, from the bibo type to the ‘I know I’m smart but I don’t care’ type. Once you get to know them, they’re actually quite fun to be with. People place their bets in these when it comes to graduation time.
“Hindi naman siya matalino e, masipag lang…” (Not Good Enough. Ever)
It’s sad if you get categorized to this label. Whenever you achieve something (almost) everyone would probably say “E hindi naman siya matalino eh, masipag lang.” Sorry. 😥 Hey, at least you’ve actually ACHIEVED something right? It doesn’t matter if people think you’re not inherently smart. (Fuck it, this is high school, of course you care what people think)
Feel Namin Cool And Astig Kami
They share a liking to something weird and/or not of the norm (norm dictated by the high school culture) like KPop or rubik’s cubes or manga or something. Their kind is very diverse, some are smart and some just steal whispered answers and pass it off as their own. People don’t hate them but they are the butt of the jokes 30% of the time. So sad.
Feel Namin Cool Kami Cos We’re Rebels
The amount of stories about them involving sex, cigarettes, public drunkenness, dramatic break-ups, and physical altercations were the drama that served as entertainment for everyone. Some aren’t as bad as they seem, and are actually quite normal as other people. It’s kind of like Barney’s The Cheerleader Effect (I HATE MYSELF FOR REFERENCING BARNEY STINSON OF ALL PEOPLE). It’s possible that they have just experienced everything earlier than most of the ‘normal’ people but it’s also possible the wild life of partying might just be as good as their life can get. Only time will tell.
Yung Mga (Legit) Tomboy (AKA STOP MAKING EVERYONE REALIZE THEY ARE LESBIANS/BISEXUALS)
If letterman jackets aren’t so jeje now, it would probably be them who’d be wearing them to school because they’re THAT cool. Okay, maybe cool isn’t the right word. Popular is more applicable.
Imagine me, as a judge on whether you have what it takes to be a tomboy.
- LOOKS (and body). Almost (if not all) lesbians look good. They look good as guys and even more gorgeous when all dolled-up as girls. They also possess the whitests armpits you will ever see. Why is that? We might never know. Only the lesbian gods can answer our question.
- SOME TALENT. It isn’t required for you to actually PLAY a sport but it’s recommended. Or it helps if you could play the drums or whatever. You just have to do something in front of the student body to make girls swoon at your feet. Also, if you’re not as good-looking as you think you are, at least may maloloko ka pa ring mga babae diba?
They’re the heroes during sportsfest, the ones who play male roles in class skits, and the enemies of the administration in its fight against homosexuality. SORRY, NUNS, BUT THEY’RE TOO BUSY KISSING OTHER GIRLS IN BATHROOMS SO THEY CAN’T HEAR YOUR LECTURES.
BIGLANG NAGING TOMBOY
The title of being a well-known butch lesbian is very much coveted that some students actually FAKE their way through butch lesbian status. They cut their hair short, they don a pair of basketball shoes and try to pretend that they know how to play basketball. They play the guitar during lunch hour, plaster their brooding faces because they’re having problems in ‘love’ with some ‘girlfriend’ she has from another school. Right.
The Wild Card
I consulted Naida if I was forgetting anything else and she suggested this. She’s a nomad. She’s evil and fun to be with. High school would probably be not as entertaining if it weren’t for Wild Cards. Barkada? What the fuck is that!!?? I CAN ROLL WITH ANYBODY!
My Large Group of Friends
We used to hold an open forum almost every month which resolves almost always NOTHING and ends up with more chismis and hurt feelings. We think we’re so cool. In truth, we really were as cool as they get.
OF COURSE THIS MAKES THE LIST. She’s part of your barkada (which most likely has a name you might be embarrassed about) but isn’t really your friend. Everytime you compliment her she will say how wrong you are and how ugly and fat and stupid she is. Stop. Don’t take the bait. She’s fishing for compliments. Laugh, and then pretend you saw someone and run off.
She (not-so-secretly) competes with you in all aspects of life. Oh, you got a 92 in the Math exam. Psh. I got a 95. You’re the highest in your class? What a coincidence, I’m the highest in my class! We’re such bestfriends! I’m sooooooo sorry, you guys broke up? That’s so sad. So anyway, about me…
The sad thing about your frenemy is that you will never get rid of her during high school. You’re lucky if you’ll be able to cut her off from your life after graduation. You have the same group of friends so it’s difficult to avoid her all the time. You just have to suck it up, honey. She’s a leech you’ll never get rid of.
Oh, it’ll be just us two? I’ll go home, then. (AKA We Have To Be With A Group of Friends To Coexist)
You have those friends right? Like for example, everyone needs to leave and you’re okay if you stay but the only one who’ll be staying is THIS GIRL whom you have never shared two minutes alone with. Or you have shared some alone time and it was the most awkward thing that ever happened in the history of humanity.
There’s no other choice but to go home. You feign a yawn and say ‘you’re tired’ but really, you just don’t want to waste another minute trying to think of what topic to talk about. You have episodes of Veronica Mars to watch.
WHY ARE WE FALLING APART (this sux)
You’ll never know who they might be. They might be your bestest friend or just a close friend. You’ll try to keep in touch after graduation, and you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment over the first few years you did. After a while though, it gets tiresome and the friendship is pointless. You don’t have anything else to say. Nothing. Do yourself a favor, just end the friendship and spare yourselves the awkwardness of having to pretend there is still a friendship to save.
FRIENDS 5EVER (The Greatest People You Will Ever Meet)
They’re the 10% of the student population you actually like spending time with everyday. You run to them when you have problems, you’re genuinely happy for their achievements and you love them to death. They’re the only ones who will get inside jokes like blubber, or Angelu de Leon and Bobby Andrews. They’re the ones you told your secret rendezvous with your crush and you made them SWEAR not to tell anyone.
They’re the ones that you hope will last forever.
P.S. This list plays on the stereotypes of high school students and is written from my point of view and with my biases. So…