Stuck in the middle.

Here’s a playlist I made for all of the people wandering around searching for themselves. LOL

Paula ColeI Don’t Want To Wait
PhoenixCountdown (Sick For The Big Sun)
Motion City SoundtrackA Lifeless Ordinary (Need A Little Help)
RihannaWe All Want Love
The Radio Dept.It’s Been Eight Years
YuckShook Down
Third Eye BlindSemi- Charmed Life

As I lay on my bed doing nothing, I can’t help but think about the fact that I might still have more than two years (this year included) before graduation (and hopefully, employment).

I first entered college under the Mathematics program but a year full of three’s quickly changed that. I loved Math, really, but as all UP students quickly find out during their first months in college: We’re not as good as we thought we were. I dreaded going to my majors everyday, I didn’t enjoy solving for limits and derivatives, and I certainly hated feeling like a failure every after exam.

After a year and a half of “soul searching” (i.e. just taking up GE subjects), I finally got in to the Library and Information Science program. And look, I might be one of the first among my friends to poke fun at my course (Anong call number ng libro na ‘to? Pa- validate naman ng ID o…), but I’ve actually
learned to love this course. I enjoyed all of my majors so far and I’m looking forward in making (successful!!!) career out of this.

My satisfaction with how my academics are turning out intensifies my frustration that I’ve no choice but to spend a few extra years in college. I wish I could just make time go a little faster. Alumni, this is your cue to tell me that I should “enjoy my college years while I still can”. Look, I’ve enjoyed a lot already and I still am! It’s just that sometimes, I can’t help but feel so helpless when my mom is going crazy just to keep the four of us in school. There are times when I ask myself, Is this payback time for all of my sins? For all of the people I made fun of or for all of the hate I have in my life? Or is this just me channeling my inner Cersei Lannister? LOL

Anyway, here’s a big F U C K Y O U to life! I just needed to get it out of my system. Oh well, here’s to hoping that the rest of my college years will be worth it!


3 thoughts on “Stuck in the middle.

  1. I honestly think you’re just channeling your inner Cersei Lannister! You made some wrong choices in life and sino bang walang inapi sa buhay nila? (Sarap kasi minsan eh huhuhu) 🙂 And you are not alone, nagui-guilty din ako kasi di pa talaga ako patitigilin sa aral shit kasi gusto talaga nila BSA, tas naiisip ko sana nag-aral nalang ako nung nasa BSA program pa ako kasi hirap din ngayon sa money pero sobrang gasgas man, Sabi nga ni Confucius: “It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.” Imaginary cheers to our future selves! Tiyaga muna for 2 years or more (Ako din talaga 3 years pa eh!)

    • Kulang yung “You made some wrong choices in life”…. cont.: Pero that doesn’t make you a candidate for the Karma Police, swear. Hahaha. Sorry dami kong sinabi, sobrang accurate kasi ng post na `to sa nararamdaman ko nung nag-away kami ni Momma (aside from utang blah blah)

    • Huhuhuhu. Wala lang, iniisip ko lang kung bakit ‘to nangyayari sakin. Gusto ko na kasi makatulong and stuff hahaha problems shet. Excited na ako kapag successful na tayong lahat! :> 🙂

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