Healthy dose of sadness.

There was this one time in grade school, I think it was college day or something. My homeroom adviser told the class that if we had angel wings at home, we should wear it to school tomorrow. It wasn’t required. But I told my dad it was, so he spent the entire evening cutting up cardboard and gluing cotton balls to my angel wings.

I don’t even remember if I said thanks.

Yeah, I get sad. Sometimes. It’s triggered by really trivial things like the taste of Wintermelon Milk Tea from Moonleaf or the sight of Chowking chicken. As for tonight, it’s kind of a unsurprising that this would be included in the #sad parts my life. I mean, really, after watching the depressing (but beautiful!!) Blue Valentine movie (Are there even loves that last forever, really?) and that How I Met Your Mother episode where Marshall visited his dad’s grave (it was extra hard to will the tears not to fall when you’re watching it with your youngest sister), what do you expect from an emotional woman?

Isn’t there a quote that goes something like it’s harder to miss someone whom you know is just there, just within reach, but you just can’t see everyday? That’s how it feels like, every single day. I was always very close to him. He’s the person I tell my problems to and during the times when I don’t tell him what exactly is wrong, he never pushed me to talk to him. He was always just there.

I don’t know. I just thought that it would always be like that. Now, it’s different. As much as he wants to be there for all of us, he can’t. He’d probably never see me graduate, never teach me how to drive and never walk me down the aisle.

Yeah, I get pretty depressing. It gets tough sometimes.


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