5 Things You Must Be In Order To Be My Close Friend

1. Must be able to quote (or at least, must have watched) the following movies: Harry Potter, Mean Girls, One More Chance, The Hangover, White Chicks, Bring It On (the first one and/or All or Nothing)… (this list is neverending btw) Also, must share my love and addiction to TV shows.

2. Must be on call and almost always ready to go 24/7. You better be ready to welcome me in to your home when I have nowhere else to go when I’m bored. You better be willing to get dragged to go drinking in the middle of the afternoon or get dinner at some place cheap (or expensive, it depends on our wallets).

3. Must be able to deliver witty hirits and banats. Don’t you hate that feeling when someone tries so hard to deliver a joke and pass it off as if it’s such a natural hirit? It’s embarassing! Cringe-worthy, even. There’s a thin line between corny jokes that could be laughed at and corny jokes that would just earn cricket sounds and awkward what-do-we-say-next?? glances.

4. Must be able to talk fast. A lot of people I’m friends with already know this–I hate slow talkers. No matter how interesting your story might be, if it takes you fifteen minutes to tell a simple story, expect me to just nod my head rhythmically and feign interest. You know that moment in TV shows wherein someone is talking and then their voice gets muted out and another character talks in the background in the form of a voiceover? That happens to me every single time I talk to someone so uninteresting. They might be very friendly and smart and fun to be with, just don’t let them yap on about something “so funny” that happened yesterday. Because trust me, when they tell something “so funny”, it won’t be anymore.

5. Must be capable of feeling hate. I can’t be around with someone so nice and sweet and good and lovable all the time because I will feel like I’m the spawn of Satan whenever I express how irritating this girl in my class is or how I’d like to throw a pencil at my oooh-look-at-me-I’m-a-cool-professor. It’s fine if we hate different things, as long as he/she hates something.

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