On feeling like crap

The past few days has been such an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Whenever I have problems in school or with my friends, it’s always my dad I run to. He’s always the one who has words of comfort and wisdom that make me believe in myself again and make me think “FUCK YOU ALL I’M GONNA DO THIS MY WAY”. Now that talking to him isn’t really an option right now, I just feel so alone. Missing my dad brings a lot of emotions that I would rather not deal with and just bury inside me. I don’t care whether this will have a graver effect on me in the future. I just can’t deal with these ~feelings~ right now.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. I really do. I admire my mom and her strength. Not a lot of people can go through this kind of situation and can still find the energy and gusto to get up every morning and work their ass off. My mom is the best. It’s just that I know she’s got a lot on her plate right now, and I think me ranting about my misadventures in college won’t help.

I just feel so fucking alone and helpless right now. The only people keeping me sane are my friends that’s why I luff them so.

Also, I think my crush likes this girl and I just feel so helpless right now. AM I THAT UNDESIRABLE GODDAMN IT I’VE BEEN SINGLE FOR MORE THAN TWO YEARS WHY AM I SO CHOOSY

Sometimes I wish that I’m one of those people who don’t have standards LOL

GODDAMNIT SO MANY EMOTIONS I CAN’T DEAL

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