I’ve slowly re-learned how to be Redg alone. A Redg with no specific ‘bestfriend-slash-girlfriend‘ to tell my problems and random kwentos. Although I miss the feeling of having a person to lean on during times of family bitchfights or schoolwork stress, I guess it feels great to be myself again. No scratch that. It feels great to find a new me.
So much hasn’t changed.
I’ve lowered my pride. I can’t believe I apologized. I don’t regret it. We’re civil. Sometimes, though, I just feel like saying sorry didn’t change anything anyway. Yeah, I could talk to her and repress my feelings of murder and she could talk to me without wanting to bash me in the head but generally, it’s still the same. Casual hostility and defeaning silence. It doesn’t bother me that much. It’s just … I thought that my apologizing would mean I could have her back as my friend again. You know, person I’d go share my most exciting, dirty, weird and mundane thoughts with. Whatever. I thought wrongly.
I’ve started to appreciate and enjoy Math! We’re taking Calculus this sem and even though it’s still hard (I hate proving limits using epsilon-delta) I kind of enjoy it. The feeling after correctly differentiating a function is very satisfying. And maybe (okay not maybe, definitely) my prof kind of helped in making the subject fun and interesting. Gah. It makes my coming home at 4:00 (instead of the usual 2:30) worth it. 🙂
CS 11 (Computer Science) was at first a bitch. Everything I’ve ‘learned’ in Turbo Pascal back in high school completely slipped out of my mind making my first weeks of CS extremely confusing and hard. Hm, or maybe the fact that I didn’t make an effort to remember anything from my 3rd year computer class contributed. 🙂 Anyhow, I’m kind of getting the hang of it. However, the Machine Problem is just that–a problem. The other CS classes’ MP just require them to make some kind of game (like Mastermind) which is way too easy compared to ours! MEANWHILE, WE HAVE TO GO PROGRAM A ROOT-FINDING ALGORITHM FOR QUINTIC EQUATIONS USING THE NEWTON METHOD, BISECTION METHOD AND OTHER METHODS MATHEMATICIANS INVENTED TO MAKE MATH MAJORS TAKING COMPUTER SCIENCE MISERABLE. Not only that, we then have to recommend which method is more efficient. GUHHHH.
Geog1 is a bore. Blame the prof. Some of my classmates just go sign the attendance sheet and then ‘pretend’ to go to the washroom but never come back. They just wait outside when class is almost over and when people are going out, they’d go in and get their bags.
Geol1 isn’t the most interesting class ever but it’s bearable. Normal class. English1, however, is fun! :> Maybe because I like any english-related subject, but really, it’s fun! I’m always excited during English. :))
Line Dance is enjoyable. It’s just that I’m almost always late. 9AM is too early to go to the Vanguard.
There. I miss writing. I’d go update this regularly now. 😉